Happy-puppet Syndrome

Semoga ini bisa membuat gw tetap sehat.
Well, Basically, I'm the one that easily get upset. Disappointed.
But, the hardest part of feeling so is: I'm not the one that easily get mad, angry, BITCHING OUT.
When I'm alone, i can do those Bitching out acts. Mocking everything, and stuff like that. And yes, it feels great, SOMETIMES.
But, unfortunately..

I'm a-so-called-positivist.
Every time i feel disappointed, the first thing happen in my brain would be: LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE, Find a rationalization, See the good side of the bad things happened. In other way (okay, here might be a rationalization), I just try to live gratefully. Complaint less, grateful more. It turns all the disappointment, indeed. BUT SOMETIMES, I still can feel it in my heart. ONLY in my heart. I keep the feeling alone.
My friend told me, sometimes, when i got disappointed by someone, and try to find a good reason why she/he did so, She/he doesn't even care and so doesn't even deserve for the excuse and all the rationalization(s). But, It's me, Keep doing so. Live with rationalization, right excuse, good reasons, FOR EVERY BAD THINGS THOSE HAPPENED. Smile to every tears.

And this is my prayer: I do all of these to get my life balanced. To stay live positively. Bad things are everywhere OUT THERE , why have another one INSIDE ourselves. So God, semoga semua yang saya lakukan ini baik untuk kesehatan mental saya. :)
I'm still tearing out the sad. I'm still Mocking out the bad. I'm still frowning all the burden. But, Smile is my choice to express them out. Let's say: Happy-puppet syndrome.